Garnet B Player Profiles written by Richard 'Potter' Holme

EDWARD 'THE HEAD' SHAW (GK/DF) Debut 1999
Shaw is one of the Garnett elder statesmen. His service to the club is long - although not very illustrious. A converted defender Shaw now finds himself minding the nets for the Saturday B's and has surprised many with some fantastic displays.
This season he has proven to be invaluable making saves at vital points, and already scooping a man of the match award against title chasing Methsoc. His early footballing career saw him hone his talents alongside another Garnett legend, playing the part of Gary Neville to Dan Sherwood's David Beckham.

STEVE 'COOKY' COOK (RB) Debut 2001
'Cooky', as the utility man is imaginatively better known, is another Garnett stalwart. Cook is accomplished either at the back or in midfield, and on the left or right flank.
He is always willing to get involved in a physical encounter and is also comfortable on the ball. Cook also bears an uncanny resemblance, in his playing style as well as looks, to former Welsh star Clayton Blackmore.

LEE 'BAMBI' HARRIS (LB) Debut 2004
Harris has joined the B's late, but made an imediate impact slotting into a sometimes bandy legged back four. Lining up along side Brooke, Pendlebury and Church this awesome foursome has a combined height of about 38 feet, while weighing in at just over 30 stone in total.
Despite this brittle frame Harris has enjoyed many a firm challenge on the glory fields of Blakelaw and Little Benton. He has even enjoyed the odd foray forward providing another option on the left.

PHIL 'CHURCHY' CHURCH (CB) Debut 1999
Church has this season taken a step up from Garnett bit part player to centre stage as he has taken on the Captaincy from Andy Powers (currently out of the side due to a high pressure injury from someone else's thumb).
Church can play anywhere along the back four and can be sure to thrill the crowds with at least one pitch length foray per game, sometimes he even takes the ball too. He is also rumoured to have a sweet singing voice, much in the style of his now estranged sister Charlotte.

ALI 'WHERE DID THE HAIR GO?' WALWORTH (CB) Debut 2004
Walworth has teamed up with fellow scholar Harris in providing the B's with a left sided alternative. He is comfortable on the ball, providing inch perfect passes or beating the man.
He especially excels on better surfaces, so when the Saturday 4ths fianlly make it to the Millenium Stadium he should be a real match winner. Until then he'll have to keep on perserveing through the mud of Newcastle's council pitches.

ADAM 'ROBBO' ROBINS (CB) Debut 1998
Another Garnett ledgend Robbo joined the B's last term and struck up a fearsome central defensive partnership with Powers. This season has started slowly due to injury but Robins is sure to be terrifying Corinthian centre forwards again very soon. An exponent of the cultured hoof Robbo has the athletic physique reminiscent of Jan Molby crossed with a female hungarian shot putter. Over the first five yards to the buffet table this man is hard to beat.

LEWIS 'NO NICKNAME' BROOKE (CM) Debut 2004
Brooke was signed in the close season from the youth set up of Cheltenham Town Poshboys, but despite his family's obvious wealth he has fitted well in with the working class heroes of Garnett. Brooke looks comfortable on the ball and so far has shown great composure against some of the best Geordie scappers in the Corinthians.
Great things await Brooke if he can avoid the lure of the bright lights and fast women that the City of Newcastle has to offer. Only time will tell.

HARRY 'HARRY' TOMEI (MIDFIELD) Debut 2004
Filling the recently vacated boots of Glen Kent was going to be tough for whomever the Green and Black signed. However, Tomes has stepped up to the plate with aplomb and fitted straight into the B's engine room. Each performance to date has been assured and he has proved to be the perfect foil for the erratic but gifted talent of Dan Ford.
The team's success this year will depend heavily on how the central midfield pairing shapes up.

DAN 'DON'T MENTION HOLLYOAKS' FORD (CM/CF) Debut 2000
4D holds the record for B team consecutive performances and this is mainly down to his obvious natural ability, commitment to the Green and Black and the fact that he was manager for most of this run. He has an excellent touch and often plays passes that many of his teammates would not even see. He has also been known to hammer a few shots in to the top corners from distance.
All that Ford has achieved is made the more remarkable against the back drop of his personal life with his sister marrying a serial killer, his fathers alcoholism and his own torrid love life.

KEITH 'THE GAFFER' JONES (CF) Debut 2001
Jones is the elder statesman of this Garnett side, he has the experience and footballing brain of a forty year old inside the body of a forty year old. It is thought that he has scored more goals against Garnett than anyone else and to combat this obvious threat Paddy signed him up.
Since taking on the reigns of the team he has often sacrificed his own well being for the good of the team slotting into whichever position he is needed. He is a true leader both on and off the field.

LEE 'NO NICKNAME YET EITHER' MARSHALL (CF) Debut 2004
Another new addition to the Garnett B's Marshall has taken to life in the Corinthians league well, scoring in his opening two appearances. He has a physical style, which belies his age and so far has given a number of the more experienced sides something to think about. Against weaker opposition he is likely to cause havoc.
If Marshall continues in the way he has begun he should have a fruitful Garnett career ahead of him. He is also a confident penalty taker, in the mould of Chris Waddle.

RICH 'POTTER' HOLMES (CF) Debut 1998
Holme made his Garnett debut back in 1998 scoring a 30 yard own goal which led to him being dropped from the side until he regained his place in 2002. Once he was given a second chance he hasn't looked back scoring an impressive 18 goals in 36 appearances. Renowned for winding up absolutely everyone he was once famously chased by a lollipop lady for a smart remark at a pelican crossing.
Fellow player, and former manager, Dan Ford paid testimony to Holme's leadership style by saying 'He is fantastic, the way he shouts at me and tells me to "start moving my fat arse" is truly inspirational".

ANDY 'I'LL BE BACK SOON' POWERS (CB) Debut 2000
Powers has been immense in recent seasons for the Green and Black, however has been strangely absent so far this term. Reports have been filtering back that he has put in some excellent performances at the florists (choosing bouquets), and tackling caterers on quiche fillings (mushroom or tomato).
It is hoped that Powers will return to the heart of the Garnett defence when he comes to his bloody senses. Let just hope he times his arrival at the church better than one of his sliding tackles.

TOM 'GIGGSY' RIGBY (LEFT WING) Debut 2003
Rigby has proven to be Garnett's true utility man this term. He has steppped in at several positions and always performed very well.
However, he has been at his best on the left flank, jinking past many a confused defender he has proven a real asset to the side.
In addition to his playing attributes he has filled in as captain, managing to lead the side admirably without actually saying anything. Like Giggs in his younger days the Gaffer Jones has been keen to shield Rigby from the media spotlight.

STUART 'STU' CAVE (MIDFIELD/CF) Debut 2004
One of the Garnett Cave clan Stuart has joined the Saturday B's squad and slotted into a number of positions already. His best performance to date was netting a hatrick against Chemfica B's in the emphatic 8-0 thumping. Cave can strike a ball as well as anyone in the squad and has proven this with some defense slitting passes and shots alike. Also has a penchant for taking old match balls home with him(?).