The Bs went into the match with Jizzmen, on the crest of a wave, and Thorpe was in an expansive mood in the lead up to kick-off, safe in the knowledge he finally had a full squad to choose from. If only he had a full kit as well! Although Shirts and shorts were in abundance, a quick count yielded only 10 pairs of socks, from what was a full kit 3 weeks ago. Fortunately, his team had learnt a lesson from the previous week, and some had brought their own.

The top of the table clash kicked off 15 minutes late, due to a delay on the Metro, and the first 10 minutes saw Garnett under furious pressure, due to the superior warming-up time of Jizzmen. A couple of silly mistakes in midfield early on were very nearly punished by Athletico's quick and skilful striker Jay, but fortunately were dealt with efficiently by the central defensive pairing of Thorpe and Simms, who are surely overdue a clean sheet.

After those initial worries, Harty did not have a save to make in the first half. The combination of solid defending by the back four, and useful pressure by Garnett's midfield and attack meant that for the majority of the first 45 it was Jizzmen under the cosh. For once, however, the attacks didn't have their usual edge, and this meant that there were very few real chances at either end. Hindle's lively runs down the right, and Perry's vision from centre midfield created what few opportunities there were. Moore went close with a right foot volley from a tight angle, and Simms headed over from a corner on the left. You could tell it was a game for defenders already.

The first half ended as it had begun, 0-0, and Thorpe was slightly worried that the Bs hadn't made the advantage of kicking with the wind count. He pointed out that 2 of the 3 previous Athletico wins had been 1-0, told the team to get their foot on the ball, and make the chances count. He also warned against sloppiness in the first 10 minutes of the second half.

And immediately saw his words vindicated. Jizzmen were down to ten men as a result of an injury, but still came out the livelier of the two teams. 3 minutes into the second half, disaster struck.
A free kick deep in the Jizzmen half was punted forward, catching the wind as it flew through the air. The otherwise excellent Simms let the ball slither under his foot to the Athletico striker, who took the ball wide, and held it up well. This allowed Thorpe and Simms to get back on the line, but his pass found a Jizzmen MIDFIELDER on the edge of the box, who had not been tracked by the Garnett midfield. Although Thorpe attempted to charge the ball down, the aforementioned midfielder slammed it into the roof of the net. 1-0 to Athletico Jizzmen, and Garnett, who had defended so well, were behind.

Now this was an interesting position to be in. Garnett B had never previously trailed in a football match this season, and your reporter was intrigued as to how they'd respond. Would their heads drop, or would they fight back? What was seen from then on left Thorpe a very proud manager.
Jizzmen did not have another shot on target. In fact, they had only tested Harty twice in the whole match! Garnett started methodically passing the ball around, inspired by the awesome presence of Perry in the midfield, the jinking runs of the formidable Murray, and the tireless hassling and challenging of the excellent Brydon. Penn (Who hadn't looked his usual self: possibly because of all the shagging he'd been doing at Castle Leazes, or so my sources tell me…) and Wallace made way for Bell and Anderson, and half an hour from the end Heslop came on in place of Hindle. A quick reshuffle saw Murray move into the centre, Bell onto the left, and Heslop up front, with Brydon dropping back to an unfamiliar right midfield role. To his credit, he still made a nuisance of himself, and was a constant metaphorical boil on the rear ends of the Jizzmen defensive unit.

The game was becoming quite physical, Moore's hand was trodden on after he fell over challenging for the ball, Brydon was elbowed in the face, and both Moore and Man of the Match Perry charged the ball down bravely with their faces, with the latter wiping blood onto his shirt for the remainder of the match. (Terry Butcher, eat your heart out!) It just so happened it was his turn to wash the kit after the game! Anderson, minutes after coming on, reacted rashly to a two-footed lunge by the left winger, and stamped on the Jizzmen player. The left winger squared up to Anderson, who responded by grabbing him by the neck and pushing him over. All hell broke loose, and it took the intervention of Thorpe and the referee McMullen to calm the hot-tempered Northern Irishman down. The referee, who in your reporter's opinion was the best official seen in over 2 seasons of intramural football, warned Anderson as to his future conduct. Anderson will surely want to review his behaviour on the pitch in the last 2 games, as it is not likely to curry favour with manager Thorpe, not unknown to referees himself.

Chances were few and far between, although Moore went close with a header almost out of the hands of the Athletico Keeper, whose theatrics frustrated the already wound-up Bs. Agonisingly, the ball flashed the wrong side of the post. Heslop missed a good chance from Bell's cross, and it seemed that it wasn't going to be Garnett's day.

In the last 5 minutes of the match, corner after corner was forced by the Bs. On one such corner, Thorpe was an inch away from scoring the best goal of his career, and a possible contender for goal of the season. After a scramble in the area, the ball fell to the player-manager, with his back to goal. Thorpe--who in this reporter's opinion had his best match so far this season--instantly back-heeled the ball with power and pace, and turned to see his effort slam against the post and back out, to be scrambled away by the desperate Jizzmen defence. So near yet so far, and half the Garnett team hadn't realised that it had been "the Gaffer" who had so nearly levelled the scores fantastically.

2 minutes from the end, yet another corner was swung in, and headed back out to Monaghan on the left flank. The ball was despatched back into the box, and a scramble ensued, with Simms getting a touch, before HESLOP swivelled on a threpenny bit and half volleyed the ball towards goal. The Jizzmen keeper could only watch in horror as the ball looped into the top right hand corner… 1-1 at last!

Had he meant it? He claimed he had, but without the benefit of television replays, we will never really know. The pressure of the previous 88 minutes evaporated in an instant, as jubilant Bs players engulfed Heslop, who had attempted a Jurgen Klinsmann style dive on the touchline, and had ended up with a graze on his abdomen, and an embarrassed look on his face… It wasn't just the players that were celebrating. A band of glory hunters, masquerading as Monaghan's mates, started a Mexican wave on the touchline, before excitement got the better of one of the girls, who rushed onto the pitch to embrace the grinning Harty.

The remains of the game a non-event after the drama of the second half, and it finished 1-1. A hard earned point, but should it have been more? Thorpe had this to say: "I'm really proud of the way my lads reacted after going 1 down, and the team spirit could not be better at the moment, with everyone weighing in and doing their bit. I'm chuffed as…" When questioned about his back heel, he responded, "You all witnessed a special moment today. Never before have I done anything as skilful, and probably never again… Years from now, people will hopefully remember my contribution to Garnett football club, and reminisce about the Golden days of Thorpe!" This was a suggestion perhaps vindicated at 11.05pm that very evening, when your reporter witnessed a phone call made to Thorpe by one of his teammates. His frown as he answered was quickly replaced by delight, and a big grin as he heard the group chants "There's only one Rob Thorpe!" and "Rob Thorpe's Barmy Army!" from the other end. Wiping a tear from his eye, he sobbed "I'm lost for words. That has really made my day. It's nice to know they're thinking of me…" At which point he refused to comment further, overcome with emotion.

So, still unbeaten, second place (behind the As), and a team spirit that is unrivalled throughout the Intramural league. Could life get any better for the Bs at the moment? With a cup match against 4th Division Bayswater United next up, anything's possible.

ALSO THIS WEEK:
"My world collapsed when the lads found out my middle name" Tom Brydon sells his story..

"My 3-in-a-bed romp with my girlfriend and goalkeeper" Tom Penn tells of the time it really WAS ok Harty was there..

Team: K.Harty, R.Wallace (A.Anderson), R.Monaghan, S.Simms, R.Thorpe, T.Perry © (MoM), A.Hindle (N.Heslop 1), T.Penn (Andy Bell), T.Brydon, S.Moore, P.Murray