November 2003 Garnett Old Boys 5 (2) vs. (2) 3 Garnett Freshers

In the battle of the hangovers, the Old Boy's experience saw then last the longer with one honourable exception. Man of the Match Rory Brown led the revival with a hard running performance and two quality finishes. Thanks to Fraser Hepburn for refereeing and Steve Simms for getting the fresher "Reflex" team in action. Commisserations to legendary keeper Sammy Haillay, who missed the chance of only his second ever goal when he drove his last minute penalty narrowly wide.

Rory Brown's Match Report - Football Fans read on:

What a bloody match - once again, Garnett greats of the past rolled out of bed, bleary eyed and hung over to hell to take part in the annual Old Boys game, and what a classic it was. Stars past and present dropped into town - some had lost it, some had it, some had put weight on - oh yeah, and there was Hughes.

Hughes put paid to the common myth that a rice diet would equate to weight loss as he proudly showed off his new and improved model beer belly - my word had it grown since his last Garnett appearance vs. Dyslexics in 2002. After the match, it was decided that Hughes belly should be censored (along with his dancing) and this motion was upheld by Sammy "The Commissioner" Haillay - as a result, Hughes must lose weight before next years encounter.

Sadly for the team, Hughes showed more enthusiasm in The Lounge the night before, gyrating to such classics as "Weak" by Skunk Anansie, than he did for the entire 90 minutes. With his cohort, Craig "Motivation" Ibbotson, they combined to produce an engine-room like display in what must be one of the most dynamic, and mobile midfields ever to turn out for the Green and Black. The tubby Eastender did manage to bag though, a flowing move inspired by the towering Pollard - the tubby prince strode majestically through before dispatching it Gazza style into the bottom corner - he then embarked on a shirt raising celebration that had even the most ardent spectator remarking, "That lads a wee bit beefy."

Garnett historians rejoiced at the re-emergence of Macca Lavender - last spotted in late 1998, a time when Andy "Jesus" Blandy was still as regular for the club. The lad had certainly lost none of his majestic trickery, and despite being spotted sipping a few glasses of red wine the night before, he proved he was NOT a homosexual by tormenting "Pies" Miller all afternoon (only 45 mins, Brown, I was paying for the old boys in the 1st half! - Roger) and scoring what proved to be the first goal in the Old Boys Revival.

Little has changed in the world of Nick Blogg - after his most recent display, the Nick Blogg Ball Fund would appear to be more crucial than ever. Please can I ask you all to donate what you can to give the little ginger guy a decent chance??? Spurred on by the lusty thoughts of Toploader, Blogg revelled in his right hand midfield role - and despite making few telling contributions, his hideous shots and refusal to play the ball first time will linger long in the memory.

What can I say about Chris Watson. Not only was this notorious hardman seen sharing a glass of red with Macca the night before (just a tad gay!), but Watto had to be replaced, in what really is one of the sad stories of our time, after but 10 minutes of the game. In his own words, he was f****d - how the mighty had fallen. Watto's f*****ness was further exemplified by his inability to berate even Nick Blogg, although he did manage to say after the match that he thought Blogg was still a joke.

And onto Pollard? The big Brummie came on and turned the game - in a Sutton-esque role he linked up with the magnificent Brown with one of the truly great striking cameos of recent time. He worked his socks off - there really is no substitute for effort and in cahoots with Brown, scored the goal to propel the Old Boys into the lead - they never looked back. Once again, MLP proved himself a true champion of the people.

It was a game that had everything - even the odd celebrity appearance - among them Duran Duran look-alikes, and Pollards favourite, Uri Geller (a.k.a. Martin Robson - Roger) at left back - and my word did the spoon bending sidekick prove his importance to the team - time after time, Geller mopped up when those in front of him (i.e. the midfield) went AWOL and were too bloody unfit to get back.

Time remained for The Commish top prove he hasn't lost it - 12 yards from goal he conspired to drag his penalty wide - a terrible spot kick but Commish once again proved his legendary status with an unflappable effort in the sticks - and some quality chat on the phone afterwards - grading anyone?

So to all the boys who couldn't make it - get back next year.

Thanks to Wallop, Roger and co for all the organising yet again.

Oh yeah, and Brown was class.

Garnett Freshers:
K.Harty, A.Anderson, D.Mullan, S.Simms, T.Penn, R.Monaghan N.Garbett 2,
Sub: Chris 1, P.Miller

Garnett Old Boys:
S.Haillay, J.Almond, M.Robson, M.Hughes 1, P.Hunt (P.Miller), G.Skipper, P.William-Powlett (R.Brown 2), C.Ibbotson, C.Watson (A.Robins), J.Bishop (N.Blogg), M.Lavender 1 (M.Pollard 1)