GARNETT ACADEMY TEAM REPORT
Saturday 22nd September 2007 Proctor & Gamble 1(1) vs. (1) 6 Garnett Academy

The new Academy side got their season off to a great start with a win over the newly promoted P&G outfit. Despite not knowing where they were going the squad eventually arrived in the right place and a relatively strong eleven kicked off the season. In the absence of Adam ‘Robbo’ Robins, Glenn ‘Glenn’ Kent deputised as gaffer.

The first ten minutes saw the Green and Black exert some great pressure with Skillbeck and Tulip combining well. One such move set Rich ‘Potter’ Holme free on the right, he cut inside and was crudely chopped by the lumbering centre half. The referee didn't hesitate in pointing to the spot and a debate as to who should take the spot kick began.

A number of the palyers offered to convert the kick including Tulip. The aggrieved Holme suggested that the ginger wonder Skillbeck should have the honour. However, Kent was having none of it, and amidst his claims that ‘I’ve never missed a penalty', and 'I am the greatest', he elected himself taker.

As both teams looked on, eager to see who would win this early battle of wills, Kent stepped up, looking decidedly nervous. He wiped the sweat from his brow and started the lonely run up. As senior players, such as Parkinson and Commane could only stand and stare, open mouthed, Kent stepped up. He pulled back his trusty right boot and clipped the ball weakly, and pathetically, goalwards. The P&G goal keeper, laughing with mocking delight simply scooped up the hapless kick. To a man the Garnett players held their heads in their hands.

Was this the end of the season before it had begun? Had Kent blown it all for his loyal and hardworking team mates? No, luckily for Kent in the dying 80 minutes of the game, against all odds, Garnett managed to score six goals, to P&Gs one.

Skillbeck netted twice, Tulip bagged a hatrick and the sixth was an own goal. Meanwhile the truly appalling Kent put through his own net to register for P&G. The worst aspect of the days performance was the fact that, despite all this, Kent kept himself on the pitch for the entire 90 minutes, substituting the far superior Alcock and Holme. Fortunately, for the Academy, Robins will be back next week and Kent should be consigned to sub, or tea boy. And he certainly won’t be on penalties ever again.

Author: R.Holme

Team: Pearson, Peat, Riley, G.Kent (1), Commane, Parkinson, Holme, Alcock (Manulescu), Tulip (3) MOM, Skilbeck (2), Armstrong (Christian)

NB: The views expressed here are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the
views of the Gosforth Garnett Bohemian Football Club as a whole.

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